Stephan Spencer on ABC TV Tucson - "A Foster Child Who 'Made It'"

This is a clip of Stephan’s interview about A Foster Child Who 'Made It on ABC TV Tucson.

May is National Foster Care Month, so to really understand what having a foster family means to a child, we're going to hear from a man who has a very personal story.

And we would like to welcome Stephen Spencer. Stephan, thanks so much for coming back.

 

You know, Steve Jobs and Eddie Murphy were foster kids. For me, I had a foster, I had a mom who was mentally unstable, and I ended up bouncing around a lot as a kid. I lived with my grandparents, and then my grandma passed away, and I had to go live with my aunt in Connecticut. Then, a year later, we moved to Florida. A year after that, she got a divorce.

I moved back to Toledo, and I was alternating between my grandfather, who was physically abusive, and my mom, who was mentally ill back and forth, and it was really unstable. And finally, my grandfather got sick, and he called Children's Services, and I became a foster kid. It felt terrible. It felt like I was alone.

 

And not the kind of alone where I was 13 years old, my mom was working third shift, and I'd be home alone all night. That was scary. This was the kind of alone where I felt like nobody in my family loved me. And that was really difficult. And yet it was a huge blessing because what happened was I had this wonderful foster mother who taught me how to cook and how to sew buttons on, and in that stability, I was able to thrive, and I focused on my schoolwork, and I maintained a four-point G.P.A. and got a 32 on my A.C.T.

And it became excellent at computers. And to this very day, that serves me; I really optimize websites of really big brands, and none of this would have been possible if I hadn't had the stability of the foster care system. And that's why I'm here today to talk about foster care and reveal the truth, and dispel the three big lies about foster kits.

So, what's that first lie?

The first lie is that foster kids are badly behaved. And the truth is, you know that over half of Americans believe that foster kids are juvenile delinquents. That can't be further from the truth. The reality is that foster kids are the victims, not the perpetrators. Kids end up in the foster care system because they have been abused, neglected, or abandoned by the hands of their parents.

Biological family. So lie number two is that foster kids have behavioral or medical needs that make them difficult to parent. Again, not true, right? Only a third of kids in foster care have any kind of diagnosable disability. The third lie is that foster kids are, like, tough, too. They have trouble with school, and they're underachievers.

And the truth is that 65% of the kids that have been foster kids had seven or more changes school between kindergarten to 12 grade. I was in that boat, and it was tough. I mean, can you imagine having that kind of instability and uncertainty growing up? And yet, you know, I had this stabilizing influence of a foster mom who didn't just, it wasn't just part of my life until I aged out of the system. It wasn't my whole life, and it continues to be, and she's such a huge blessing in my life and in the lives of my children. I send her flowers on Mother's Day and on her birthdays, and we spend time together at least once a year.

So I think that's great. So there's, if there's one thing you want to get out today, we went through these lies. You're breaking down a lot of misconceptions. Are you just trying to let people know to get out there if they want to be a foster family and give these kids a chance?

Right. So, I just want folks to care. Yeah. See, to give charity. So charity in the form of, like, you know, non-profits such as CASA, Together We Rise, and the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. To attend training, Partnerships in Parenting is a great organization. Requirements for licensing would include just being an adult, 21 or over.

Evaluation.

Evaluation. You know, it's it's for licensing by a licensing agency. So you're just going to they're going to check you out. Make sure that you're fit to serve.

Well, thank you so much for sharing your personal story and for giving this information again, Stephan. Thank you so much for coming.And to learn more about Stephan Spencer and find foster care resources. Just log on to stephanspencer.com/foster.

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