When you use any social media outlet, one of the major hurdles is making friends. How you go about making friends will make or break your reputation on whichever service you are on. One of the best ways of making real friends and connections through social media is using instant messaging.

You can find users AIM/MSN/Yahoo names generally in their profiles and can start sending them messages instantly. They have their usernames listed so people can find and talk with them. They do not have them listed to just be spammed with “vote for this please, thanks” messages. If they don’t know you, why would they vote you up just because you asked them?

A good way to go about first contact with anyone on a social site is to be genuinely interested in them. After the initial “Hello I found you through X,” ask them about their latest blog post or what they thought about something you saw they voted up or down. Ask them about their business, what they do, what they are interested in, how they got their start.

I chat with people every day and when someone is actually interested in what I do (or at least seems that way) I’m more likely to be interested in them. I’ll take a look at their profile on whatever social site they found me though and maybe check out their blog or website. When people just spam me with “vote for” or try and start a conversation without introducing themselves and just looking for free tips – I ignore them.

(Unless you’re a Trekkie like me, you may not fully appreciate this post’s title… “First Contact” is a reference to the first time Earth’s inhabitants made contact with aliens, specifically the Vulcans.)